Good news

Just wanted to report that I had a blood test yesterday to check my HCG levels and they were at zero! My results were also back from the lab and everything looked normal. I did not have a molar pregnancy which was such good news to my ears! So, the nurse said that I can just finish out this pack of pills and we can start trying again next month! So happy! :)

Easter fun

Coloring Easter eggs...

Celebrating my 29th birthday!




Enjoying their Easter baskets...

The three little monkeys...

We had a wonderful two days with my sister and family over Easter in spite of a few less than ideals. All last week I had been fighting off a sinus cold, but it ended up getting the best of me on Friday. I had such a sore throat, head ache etc. Then somehow I hurt my lower back while I was cleaning (imagine that) and was also in extreme pain from that! I could hardly walk or sit (or sleep)! On top of it, I had a weird stomach ache hit that evening and I thought I was getting the flu. I couldn't believe my luck! What else could go wrong? So after shedding a few tears feeling sorry for myself I decided I better call my sister to let them know how bleak things were looking so they had time to decide whether they still wanted to come. Turns out Kate had a high fever that night (and Nate started one that night, too).

To make a long story short, I made it through the night ok, Kate's temp was down so they decided to still get on the plane in the morning, just on a later flight. Although we were all quite tired (and sick) we still pulled off a very fun, eventful weekend. We ate wonderful meals, hid easter baskets for the kids, enjoyed mochas from my new espresso machine, and had lots of great conversation. The guys enjoyed each other's company too and were so gracious to take the kids on a drive two different times to give us girls a bit of peace and quiet.

Oh yes, forgot to mention my 29th birthday on Saturday! Probably the most miserable birthday I have ever had as I was so sick. I should have just rested that whole day but I was busy cleaning the house for company. Nate and I did manage to color some Easter eggs in the midst of it all. Thank you to those who called or sent a card/gift/wishes. It always means alot to know my friends and family are thinking of me.

Lyrics to "How deep the Father's love for us"

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

Odds and ends from the last month...

These pictures are in no particular order, in fact, they are out of order but I don't have the time or patience to arrange them all correctly tonight. :)


A few from our time in Lewistown:

Being goofy with cousin Mylo.

They had so much fun together!

Before I snapped this picture, Mylo ordered, "Tacos up, Nate!"

Too cute!

We got to go out to my cousin Cora's place and see the baby calves.

It was so nice to enjoy the peace and quite of the outdoors.

Here's Cora's boy Landon and Mylo

Nate in "heaven" driving the tractor

We got to celebrate Nate's 2nd birthday with family while we were there...

Kelsey and my mom

My grandparents, William and Maxine

The birthday boy, Derrick, and my dad

Cousins!

I'm two!

Yum!

Make and wish...

and blow it out!

He tried anyway!

A few others...

Little model with a sweet smile

Not sure if this is good or bad, but Nate loves the computer. His favorite thing to do is watch home videos of himself. He'll sit there forever and be entertained. :)

I think it so cute when he walks around with his hands in his pockets...

Little helper

These were taken last weekend and all our snow has melted now

but I thought they were still cute enough to post.

Don't you love Nate's "shovel?"

Update

I just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers for me on Monday. The D&C went fine and they are waiting for results to come back from the lab. I spoke with my Dr. today and after the initial look he wants the lab to take a deeper look and do some more tests as the first look was "puzzling." That is about the only thing that I caught amongst all the dr. terminology that meant little to me. He wants me to go on birth control for 3 months and monitor my HCG levels until they are at zero. And that is about all I know for now. I am feeling ok. I over did it a little yesterday and am paying for it today as I feel like I'm getting sick now. The general anesthesia really wipes you out! I forgot how hard that is on your body!
Anyway... I will keep you updated when I know more. I appreciate your prayers that I can leave this in the Lord's hands and not worry. Although it is not how I would have planned all this there is nothing I can do about it so I will trust the Lord on this one.

My week

So my week has been quite a rollercoaster ride. It has been a month and a half since my miscarriage and I still hadn't had a period, so out of curiousity, Tuesday I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive! I really couldn't believe it but was pretty excited. But after talking to my dr the next morning they were thinking that this wasn't a new pregnancy but that possibly I never actually miscarried and that I was still pregant! Then I didn't know what to think! Could it be that I have been pregnant for over a month and not know it? Crazy! I went in Thursday for an ultrasound to see what was going on. Unfortunately, there was no baby. Just a placenta. I guess I either miscarried the baby and not the rest or there is a possibility of a molar pregnancy which means I never was pregnant to begin with. Whatever the case they have to do a D&C surgery tomorrow morning. Needless to say it was pretty exhausting to go from excitement to confusion to disappointment to anxiety all in a few days. I would appreciate your prayers that everything goes well tomorrow and that it wasn't a molar pregnancy. If it was the dr. said they wouldn't want me to get pregnant for another year. That hit hard! But, I'm not going there yet.
I will just continue to trust the Lord that He knows what He is doing. He is a good God. He knows what is best and it is all in His plans to mold and shape me into being more like Him. I'm just trying to keep my focus there.

The music man

Hello! I think its time for a snack!

If I could only get these crackers open...

This is how Mommy and Daddy do it.

Ok, that didn't work. I'm done!

Goodbye...

pacifer!
So I have been wanting to get rid of the pacifer for some time now but have been putting it off not knowing what we were getting into. We accidently forgot Nate's "pacy" in Bozeman when we were there last weekend and so decided to roll with it. We had one bad night where we were up till 2:00 in the morning with him but since then he has only asked for it about once a day. When he does I just remind him that he had a birthday party and that he is two now and big boys don't have pacy's. Hooray! I didn't know it would be that easy!

Our little blessing

I cant believe how big my boy is getting. Everyone says that he is tall for his age so I guess he must be. He will be 2 on Monday! We are headed to Bozeman on Friday for my cousin Brenton's wedding then on to Lewistown for the rest of the weekend. I'm excited that we get to celebrate Nate's birthday with some family! Yay! Nate is such a sweet little boy full of hugs and kisses and pats on the back. He loves all stuffed animals and takes good care of them (gives them drinks, stuffs food in their mouths... :) We are also proud of how athletic he is becoming. He loves to jump and kick and throw and hang off of things. I bought him a tball awhile ago and he loves to swing that bat and impress us with how good he can hit the ball across the room. He is very vocal but still doesn't say alot of real words. I guess he figures his signs and sounds work great why say the word? He definitely can say the word "No" however. I have heard that word a few too many times lately. And he says it with such attitude!
Yesterday we went on a walk along the creek and I was pointing out the trees and grass and pinecones telling him how God made each one of them and he immediately started doing the signs for the song "My God is so big." It just amazed how he related that song to what I was saying. They are smart little ones, aren't they?
I am so thankful for my son and the blessing he is to us. He brings such a needed joy into our lives. Thank you Lord for little Nate!!

Here are some fun bath time photos from last night...

This cracks me up...

Nate and I were having some popcorn for a snack yesterday and this is what I later discovered... I guess he thought Elmo was hungry too! :)

Elmo seems to be Nate's new friend.

He carries him everywhere and loves to give him rides in his car.

So sweet!

He gives and takes away...blessed be the name of the LORD.

Today was supposed to be a very exciting day. The day was finally here to go to the Dr. for my first prenatal visit for our second child! I had been waiting for this day for weeks! I couldn't wait to hear the little heart beat and see the little one forming inside of me on the ultrasound screen. I was going to waste no time getting home so I could announce it to the world (well, at least to my fellow bloggers and facebookers) that we were expecting!! But, God had different plans this go around. Last Saturday I had some light spotting. I called the Dr. Monday morning and they assured me that although it was not something to take lightly, it was probably nothing to be concerned about. Unfortunately, by Tuesday evening it was getting worse and by Wednesday I knew I was losing the battle I did not want to fight. Having a miscarriage is never something that you think is going to happen to you so it was very unexpected. It has been a difficult week, a disappointing one... But I continue to raise my eyes to the Lord where He gives me comfort and hope. Hope of another life to come.
So, today is a bittersweet day. I am grieving the loss of my sweet child but looking forward with hope of another to fill my arms very soon. The Lord does not take something from our hands without filling it with something better. I'm hanging on to that!

I love this picture!

Merilee just sent me this picture that Mom took when we were there.

Yes we are wearing the same shirt;

it was our Valentine's gift from Mom.

Doesn't Nate look like a little politician? :)

It's amazing all three kids are

actually looking at the camera.

What a goof!

Cousins!!

Nate and I flew down with my mom to visit my sister and family in Missouri last week. We had so much fun!! Keeping up with three toddlers definitely kept us busy! It was so fun to observe each of their personalities... so different. Nate had a blast with his cousins, and loved flying on the airplane! He even came home with a few new words! Here's a few pictures from our week.

I am sitting here ready for church and waiting for Derrick to get ready (isn't it supposed to be the guy waiting on the girl??) so I thought I'd post a photo or two from the last few weeks.

Derrick's birthday January 19th

(notice the picture Nate colored for Derrick)

My little boy who loves to read. And I love that smile!!

Streaker!

Nate loves to take a lap around the house after his bath.

He thinks its so funny!